Every year, thousands of couples split up, and their children feel the stress. Your child’s reaction will depend on their personality, age, and the conditions surrounding the separation process. Divorce is a difficult situation for everyone involved. To help your child understand and handle the divorce, follow the tips below.
Encourage Truthfulness
Children want to know that you value their emotions and that they’ll be taken seriously when they share them. Encourage your kids to be honest about what they are feeling and to put those emotions into words. You can tell by their behavior when they are feeling angry or sad. Recognize their feelings and ask them why they believe they are so sad. Listen to what they are saying, even though it may be hard to hear it aloud.
Validate Their Emotions
Give their feelings legitimacy by saying something like, “I know you feel angry now.” Let your kid get everything out before you begin offering solutions. Remind them that it’s also alright to be excited or relieved about the future.
Give Them Support
Next, ask them what they think would make them feel better. You can give a few suggestions if they cannot name anything. Consider proposing you two sit together, go for a walk, or play with a favorite toy. You could also ask them if they want to call the other parent on the phone or draw a picture for the other parent.
Ask for Help
Now is not the time to put on a strong face and go it alone; ask for help if you need it. Build up your support network, find friends you can rely on, and find a group of others who are recently divorced. You may also want to consider getting professional help from a counselor or therapist. By doing this, you can set a strong example for your children on how to handle stress and change in a healthy way. This will also create a healthy boundary between you and your children, whom you may be tempted to lean on for support.
Keep Some Details to Yourself
Some details are best kept between you, your ex-spouse, and your attorney. The best divorce lawyer in San Antonio, Texas, will recognize the value in privacy, especially when in front of your children. When around your children, you and your spouse should also try to be as civil as possible and keep the blaming and name-calling to a minimum. This is especially crucial during an “at fault” divorce that was caused by a hurtful occurrence like infidelity. You should also take extra precautions when it comes to incriminating letters, emails, and text messages. Keep them in a safe location away from the prying eyes of curious children.
Stay Healthy
Another way you can help your children during a divorce is by retaining a sense of normalcy and continuing to live a healthy life. This may be hard because of the stress of the separation and everything that comes with it, like finding a child custody lawyer, financial troubles, and property issues. However, it is crucial that you find a way to manage your anxiety. You can do so by remaining physically and emotionally strong. Before you can take care of anybody else, you must first take care of yourself.